Felixstowe II v UEA 2

Saturday 21st January 2012 - Division 4NE - NE14 East Men's League

Never has a Hockey match been as profound as the return fixture of Felixstowe and the Scholars of East Anglia. Felixstowe had a defeat to avenge and the Scholars had hangovers to clear. Skipper Beecroft had planned with enough detail to invade Poland but was still out manoeuvred by the country’s future. Those pesky kids had recruited the enigmatic long dark haired and bearded Jesus Christ to their ranks.
A man who if rumours were to be believed could heel with a caring hand, feed 5000 with a single fish, turn water into wine and be followed by numerous women.

No wonder the students loved him!

The opening moments tapped out an even beat as chances became a rare commodity. The Scholars, influenced by the imperious Jesus Christ and a sweeper who Howard Green remembered from his own university days began to dominate possession. Felixstowe were content with soaking up the pressure and strike on the counter attack. Bailey and Hands pressed on the right to open up the Scholars’ defence but alas the finishing touch met with the same success as a Chris Huhne cover-up.  

Scholarly pressure began to mount as like a devoted Marxist they focussed upon quick movement down the left wing that opened up Felixstowe ranks. Hopkins, for once the second best healer on the pitch, could only watch in horror as the ball was scrambled past him to award the students a slender one nil lead.   
   
The first half ended with the Scholars in pursuit of a ‘buy one get one free’ goal and Felixstowe finally awakening from the shackles that can form when faced with an opponent who can list God on his ‘phone a friend list ‘ . Burton, like a committed Roman took the fight to Jesus and found Howard Green in the area. However, whilst the crowd chanted ‘Barabbas’ Jesus stood tall and thwarted the attack by presence alone.

“I am the way and the truth and the defence.”

Felixstowe came out in the second half committed to becoming ‘born again’ to their brand of passing Hockey. The ‘up tempo’ approach began to jab at scholarly resistance as Sam Harris was unfortunate not to level the score. Buoyed by the growing pressure, a short corner was forced and Brooke-Rowland converted when a drag flick deflected off opposition wood. Good times continued to roll as Bailey and Hands were switching the play from left to right and right to left. Better was to come as Sam Harris drove the ball into the D and the ultimate poacher Howard Green slotted home to give the home side a deserved lead.

The Scholars displayed a good reaction as their solid form was resurrected with the creation of a couple of chances. They still had faith. They still had a lad trying to impress Mary. Luckily, they were unable to convert as S Taylor, J John, J Bax and L Williams stood strong in the face of divine onslaught. The game had moved into a critical passage as both sides sensed the crucial nature of the next goal. Brooke-Rowland was unfortunate to have a goal chalked off as the Scholars were showing menace in the home area. Timing is often everything and yet again the old methodology proved correct.  A Taylor marauded down the right wing and centred to Howard Green who laid the ball to J Pettit. A guilt-ridden former UEA student Pettit lost his marker with an audacious turn and hit sweetly an uppercut that caught the keeper off guard to give Felixstowe a nailed on lead.

“He betrayed the University of East Anglia Hockey Code and Jesus; Judas!”

The remaining minutes were played out like the Book of John with miracles not as abundant. A good all round performance from Felixstowe delivered a gratifying home win.
The clubhouse saw original scenes as students enjoyed their supper sat round their messiah. [Doesn’t remind me of any painting; how about you?] The Scholars left with nothing apart from a warm cup of tea, a delicious meal and a good old-fashioned roll around in the mud. Maybe, everyone was a winner!  Of course, Jesus hovered above asking dad for a better result in their next match.

Viva la Robolution
 
M Hopkins, J John, M Bailey, A Taylor, S Taylor, L Williams, J Bax, R Beecroft, T Hands, J Pettit, S Harris, H Green, C Burton , H B-Rowland

Man of the match : Mark Bailey